Many of the hottest bodybuilder dancers — such as those at the Alegria parties — are straight men.
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By TIMOTHY GREEN
Friday, January 28, 2005
Happy hour had just begun at the XL bar and lounge on an ordinary Wednesday night
in Chelsea. Customers swarmed the bar taking advantage of the two-for-one drink
specials. Or maybe it was to get a better view of those feverishly cute bartenders.
Most of the bartenders were given a second and sometimes a third glance by
the people purchasing their cosmopolitans, blue Hawaiians, and martinis. But
did the customers know that two of the four bartenders were straight?
Why do straight men work in gay bars? Money. And maybe more. “I think
it’s a combination of the money and the attention,” XL owner and
Roxy promoter John Blair said. “It has to be more than just the money
because a bartender can make great money working at almost any bar in New York
City. There has to be some certain allure to it”
Blair said sexual orientation has nothing to do with the hiring process. “We
hire bartenders who have a certain look, a certain attitude,” he said.
“It’s all about how they treat the customers. When it comes to their
sexual orientation, I don’t need to ask. The question I ask is if they’ve
ever worked in a gar bar.”
Jeff, who prefers not to use his last name, 22, is straight. He’s also tall, totally buff and oozes
smooth charm. He has been working at XL since this past summer, but he
admitted working as a bartender wasn’t his first choice.
“I came in here looking for a barback job, bartending or waiter position,” Jeff said. “Actually, I was interested in the waiter or security
position. I saw the manager and he asked if I had a bartending license. I told
him I didn’t but that I could get it.”
Jeff said the bartending job later appealed to him because he had always
heard there was a lot of money in it. Bartending is also more fun, he said.
For Jeff, XL is his first time working in a gay bar. He said the social
atmosphere took some getting used to.
“At first, it was different,” he said. “I guess it would
have been the same if I was working at a straight bar. I just wasn’t that
big on nightlife. I was pretty much a geek when I was in school. I’m not
really a nightlife person, so the idea of working in a bar seemed strange, but
I guess that’s true for anything that’s new.”
But Mitch Carfora, another straight man working the bar that evening, had had
previous experience at a gay bar in Pennsylvania before XL. Carfora, classically
tall, dark and handsome, said he also held jobs at straight bars during his
summer vacations, but the money just wasn’t as good as it is in a gay
bar.
“Both [straight women and gay men] have been good tippers in my experience,”
Carfora said. “But mostly gay men.”
Both men are conscious of that their physiques are their fortune and put in
plenty of time at the gym to keep it that way. Carfora described the gym as
his “sanctuary.” Jeff is a self-described “health nut.” Jeff noticed how fashion-conscious people are in Chelsea, which forced
him to step it up a notch.
“It’s definitely made me more aware,” said Jeff. “The
people here are well-groomed for the most part, but not everyone. They are all
so clean-cut. They all have their own style. So I worked on my own style. I
started experimenting with different styles of clothing. It’s been good
for me.” Jeff said he never got a facial before working at XL.
Of course, with men that look as good as these two do, flirtatious comments
do come their way. Carfora said he used to it. “Most of the time I take
it as a compliment, but some guys can be rude,” he said.
Jeff, on the other hand, said it was hard to get used to at first, but
it doesn’t bother him anymore.
“Working here, being that it is a gay bar, was strange,” said Jeff. “A lot of the people are friendly—or even too friendly—so
that took some getting used to. But after a while you get the hang of it. You
get moments where some guys are really drunk and even girls, too, actually.
They always ask me if I’m gay or straight.”
Patrons frequently ask Carfora that question as well. He always tells them
the truth, even if it’s not what they want to hear.
“I never tell them I’m bi or anything like that,” he said.
“Most people respect me for doing that. Some people don’t like it
when I tell them I am straight. Some people don’t care and some think
I am lying or that I am confused.”
In their business, it’s one thing for the bartenders to actually be straight,
but it’s another thing if a customer can tell a bartender is straight
just by looking at him. If the patrons can easily spot a straight bartender
“then the bartenders are not doing their jobs,” said Blair.
One customer, Elliot, when asked to pick out the straight bartender, said “All”
— despite gal-pal Jessica’s claims for his “great gaydar.”
Another customer, who wished to remain anonymous, thought that even the bartenders
who said they were straight were still gay.
Many of the hottest bodybuilder dancers —
such as those at the Alegria parties — are straight men.
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But then Kerry Liebowitz and his friend Michael, both from the Upper East Side,
didn’t care about the sexual orientation of their bartenders. “As
long as I am treated with respect I don’t care,” said Liebowitz.
“It doesn’t make a difference to me if they are gay or straight.”
Jeff said that is exactly what the job is all about.
“You’re not just selling drinks, you’re representing the
club.” He said. “You have to listen to people and care. It’s
a part of the whole package. You can’t be too shocked by people and by
what they tell you. You can’t be too quick to judge people. You have to
be very, very courteous and very respectful.”
Gay bars are actually the best places to meet women, according to Carfora.
He said a lot of straight men go to gay bars just for that reason. Both Jeff
and Carfora are not seriously dating anyone at the moment, but they both previously
had girlfriends while working at XL. Carfora said his girlfriend didn’t
mind, but she would occasionally tease him about it. Jeff had an entirely
different experience.
“She always thought I was gay since before working here,” He laughed.
“She probably wasn’t that comfortable with it. This didn’t
help.”
It’s probably no surprise that many of those gargantuan bodybuilder go-go
dancers at Roxy, Splash and Alegria are straight. Blair said they make up almost
“half and half” with the dancers he hires at Roxy.
“The dancers all fluff up in the back and they all use magazines,”
he said. “Some use gay magazine and some use magazine with girls in them.
But all of them are able to flirt with men as easily as they can women.”
As with the bartenders, when hiring a go-go dancer, it is all about his looks.
This is a point that party promoter Ric Sena — whose Alegria parties at
Crobar have become famous for the massive size and sexiness of their dancers
— stressed heavily.
“The dancers have a look,” Sena said. “ Most of the men who
come to my parties have a very ‘straight’ look, so the go-go dancers
also look straight. If I put six of my dancers in front of you, you wouldn’t
be able to tell which ones are gay and which ones are straight.
“It has nothing to do with being gay or straight,” he added. “It
doesn’t make a difference what their sexual orientation is. What I deal
with — the bartenders and go-go dancers — are professionals.”
The dancers Sena hires for Alegria are all comfortable with dancing in front
of thousands of horny men of nearly equal size. Nor do they mind making a show
of their sexuality, even if they are straight.
“They are fine and have no problems with it,” he said. “The
guys know they look good and they know they have good bodies. The dancers that
are straight don’t hide it. If you ask them they will tell you that they
are straight. Sometimes they bring their girlfriends to the parties just to
have a good time”
Whether straight men work as bartenders or as go-go dancers, the bottom line
is, well, the bottom line: money. Most agree that gay men pay lavishly. So now
the question lingers: Can you tell who’s gay and who’s straight?
You might be surprised.
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