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By KEVIN SPENCE
Friday, November 28, 2003
Wayne Besen, a former HRC spokesperson, first captured the national media’s
attention in September 2000, after snapping a photo of ex-gay poster boy, John
Paulk, in a Washington, D.C. gay bar. Paulk, an advocate for the ex-gay ministries,
appeared on the cover of Newsweek with his ex-lesbian wife in 1998.
But after the Southern Voice, a gay newspaper in Atlanta, broke the story
of Paulk’s apparent aberration from Exodus International — a conservative
Christian group for ex-gays — Paulk was removed as board chair.
Besen’s 15 minutes of fame, launched with the groundbreaking image,
catapulted him into a seven-month, 55-city book tour after writing, “Anything
but Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth,” recently
published by Harrington Park Press.
“This, to me, is more than a book tour. I have this feeling that the
right wing is going to use this more than ever this year,” said 33-year-old
Besen, of a potential backlash coming from the religious and conservative right.
Referring to gay opposition from both the Episcopal and Catholic Churches
and the recent Massachusetts ruling supporting same-sex marriage, he said: “The
right wing base might turn to these ministries as evidence in their favor.
I want to make sure people have this resource in case conditions produce a
rebirth of the ex-gay ministries.”
Besen is no tyro when it comes to unearthing the foibles of the ex-gay ministries,
or what he termed, “politics under lies.” His first introduction
to reparative therapy was unleashed upon him when he was 18. After he told
his parents he was gay, they left a cassette on his bed for him to listen to. “Gay
and Unhappy” was a combination of new age music and anti-gay monotone
messages.
Besen listened to it three times. He recalled telling his parents, “All
I’ve got to do to become straight, according to the tape,” wrote
Besen, “is figure out when you and Mom became lousy, distant parents.” Since
then his parents have not subjected him to reparative therapy. And Besen, who
says he has a happy and healthy relationship with them — and always has — dedicated
his book to them.
While working for the HRC, Besen published “Finally Free,” an expose
on the ex-gay movement. He has spent four years examining the ex-gay ministries
and reparative therapies. After interviewing leaders like Dr. Robert L. Spitzer,
a Columbia University professor who, through his research, helped to remove
homosexuals from the American Psychological Association in 1973, Besen concluded, “it
was a stunt to possibly get him back into the news,” regarding Spitzer’s
October study, which claims that through therapy gay men and lesbians can change.
“Dr. Spitzer recruited the vast majority of his subjects in his terribly
flawed study from the right wing,” said Besen. “It really amounted
to the Family Research Council who sent him [Spitzer] ex-gays on the payroll.”
Spitzer defended his sampling by saying: “There’s no doubt that
large numbers of gay who enter [reparative therapy] are unsuccessful. These
people [in the study] were recruited because they were claiming benefit, and
had offered to be in the study,” he told the Columbia Spectator.
Others, who also considered the subjects too biased, criticized his findings.
Ninety-eight percent of the subjects described themselves as “devoutly
religious,” pointing to recruitment of the subjects by the ex-gay ministry.
Of Spitzer’s most recent findings, Besen added: “Once he was very
well-respected. Now, he tarnished his image.”
Besen also immersed himself under the radar in meetings of ex-gay groups. Although
he would not divulge which group he infiltrated to the Blade, he does reference
Love in Action, Exodus International, and Homosexuals Anonymous in his book.
“One woman ... talked of committing suicide — she thought she
was going to hell. She knew it wasn’t working [reparative therapy] but
she was afraid to leave the ministries. She was stuck in a purgatory of pain.
The conversation was heart breaking. She thought it was her fault, for not
praying enough,” he said.
Tactics like playing sports, Prozac prescriptions and gaining weight were
brought forth as cures from the ex-gay ministry, wrote Besen.
Randy Thomas, a spokesperson with Exodus International, does not agree.
“What I can say is that gender-affirming role modeling is way simplistic.
I don’t think that is an elemental part of the ex-gay ministry,” said
Thomas of the 125 ex-gay ministries dotting North America. “Exorcism
is a hallmark of these ministries. People go through many exorcisms and spend
a lot of money on doctors who give them,” added Besen.
He insists that many figureheads for the ex-gay ministry enjoy working with
the media — the gay media, in particular — because it is the only
gay contact they can still retain as ex-gays.
“I think what the culture war has done was try to make ex-gays the opposite
of the gay community,” said Thomas. “The media and a few people
have made us into the perceived enemy. Just because I’m ex-gay doesn’t
mean that I haven’t faced discrimination.”
Thomas, a reformed gay man of 11 years, said that, in fact, he faces more
persecution from the gay media than from the straight media. “I think
there’s a lot of intolerance in the gay community — because they
don’t accept I’m living my life for myself. They think I would
rather attack them.”
He said more than once, gay reporters have openly mocked the way he talks
and his weight.
As for Besen’s assertion that most prominent ex-gay leaders are substance
abusers, Thomas said: “I know a number who have, including myself, abused
drugs, until we turned to our faith. If they’re in Exodus leadership,
they do not suffer from that today.”
It may be too soon to determine the right wing’s response to Besen’s
book.
David Gasak, with Focus on Family, said: “I’m not in the capacity
to give you a comment about it.” Even Thomas said he has not read the
book yet, although he discussed the ex-gay ministries.
“The people seeking our help do so of their own free will. They’re
grown adults. We don’t inhibit someone’s self-determination in
any way,” said Thomas.
As for Paulk, who, in many ways, caused Besen to embark on his quest, Thomas
said: “I think he made a mistake three years ago. He’s doing quite
well. He just celebrated the birth of his third son.”
But for Besen, subversion is the ex-gay antidote for homosexuality. “They
rule by mudslinging, fear and bully
tactics. But that’s okay. I’m confident with my message.”
www.anythingbutstraight.com
$14, Harrington Park Press
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